Posted by: gdevi | December 11, 2015

White Headlights and Other Oddities

I finished giving the last final today and now I have a mountain of stuff to grade. As David Byrne astutely noted, my god, what have I done? Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. I am completely, so completely tired. But it was a good semester. Lot of good students. I wish you all well. Keep in touch.

But I wanted to note something else. It becomes dark early these days–so anyway, I had come back from work and I went to the grocery store to pick up eggs and milk and oats and stuff and on my way back–it was around 6 in the evening–I noticed that most cars these days have WHITE headlights. It used to be that only a car here and there had white headlights a few years back. But now, every other car has white headlights. Why is that? Headlights are yellow. Why by the sacred beard of Santa Claus would you have white headlights? It does not look right. Yellow headlights are gentler on the eye. Red tail lights are gentle on the eye. You know, we have white tube lights in India–that is what we have inside our houses. But they are of a much lesser intensity than these glaring white lights. These white lights are terrible.

Second oddity, before I forget. When you hear the word coriander, what comes to your mind? Mutton or lamb roast maybe? Maybe small spring potatoes fried with coriander and garam masala? Fresh okra fried with coriander seeds and red pepper flakes?  Fresh tender snake gourd cooked in a sauce made with roasted coriander ground in a paste with chili and turmeric and toasted coconut? A whole host of middle eastern and Indian dishes might spring to your mind. But I am sure you never thought of a body lotion made with coriander. You didn’t, did you? You do not wish to smell like a Middle Eastern or South Asian meat dish, do you? You do not want to smell like roasted rack of lamb, do you?

Well, I had a Dorothy Parker moment today. I got a flyer and coupon in one of these lotions-perfumes-sprays-catalog in the mail. I am asthmatic and artificial manufactured fragrances suffocate me so this flyer and coupon are going in the recycling. If you want to kill me all you have to do is to spray wild lilac on my face and I would be dead instantly. But it is Christmas and I get a lot of junkmail from the world of useless commerce. Anyway, I got a flyer today for a moisturizing lotion made with coriander and lemon from Bath and Body works. A lotion to put on your body smelling of coriander and lemon. I mean, honestly. Why on earth would you want to put coriander on your body? I wonder if you can empty the moisturizer into a saucepan and cook some mutton in it? It already has the coriander and lemon. All it needs is some chili, salt, pepper, some cashew paste, tomato paste, garam masala and dead goat. Well I swear your perfume baby is made out of turnip greens/ Every time I kiss you girl you taste like pork and beans. Indeed. Good lord.

Now I have to grade like a maniac and finish this mountain of papers by Monday.  And I have to finish two articles. I am so tired. At least I got the Christmas tree up for my daughter.

It is the one year anniversary of our friend John’s passing. I miss you, John. We talk about you almost everyday, John. Nic or David or I would say, “I wish John were here to see this.” This is usually when something completely objectionable happens at the uni.  I know you are somewhere, John; wherever you are, I hope you know how much we all love you and miss you.

I wish I had written this song. So far away from white headlights and coriander moisturizers.



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