Posted by: gdevi | April 22, 2015

Not Giddy

I stopped to read this article only because of the author’s name–Daisy Buchanan. For a moment I was seized by the disbelief that Fitzgerald’s odious heroine now writes for the Guardian. But my fears were unfounded, and this is a different Daisy Buchanan. But apparently, something has traveled across the namesakes–a fascination with what is superficial, trite and vapid. This article is about a “hot math teacher.” The current Daisy Buchanan admits that even as an adult woman she feels “giddy” at the thought of “hot” teachers of such boring subjects as history and math. In the concluding paragraph this Daisy Buchanan writes: “I’m sure Boselli is hoping that his biceps can do a bit of good and inspire a passion for mathematics, but unless I shut my eyes throughout, I don’t think I’d be capable of writing my own name after one of his lessons.”

Guardian newspaper, you know, I have kept you as my homepage across so many different machines over the years precisely because you did not publish trash like the above. Have you lost your mind? Is this a new business plan? Is your editor smoking something illegal? Please stop publishing the masturbatory fantasies of giddy women and men in your paper from now on. Take it from a teacher–albeit not a hot one, and of a very unglamorous and unhot subject–English literature. I could not possibly have read this trash at a more inopportune time. Ever since Sandusky raped little boys in the Penn State showers, now all teachers in the state to Pennsylvania have to spend countless hours getting fingerprinted, and completing various trainings, clearances, certifications and forms under the new Protection of Minors Act. It is a lot of work. For your information, teachers and students are not in a “hot” context. The only time a classroom is “hot,” is when Facilities has not turned on the air-conditioning and it is 90 degrees outside. In such cases, the teacher goes to the main office and gets a window crank and cranks open the window to let air in, so the teacher and the students do not die of suffocation and heat stroke. Then they call Facilities. Further, if you are lusting after a teacher or a student, I suggest you keep it to yourself. If not, the FBI will come for you. Barring the legalities, even though your blood goes to your genitals, you should probably use your brain, when you are a teacher or a student. There are so many willing adults to indulge your sexual fantasies. Go find them. I am sure they will be delighted to oblige you. Leave teachers and students alone. Stop publishing what are in effect pornographic musings in the guise of sidebars and articles.


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